Those Manipulating Kids 😳

Hello my friends!
Happy Friday! So glad we made it through another week.

Got some great info for those parents out there. Seems like articles fall in my lap at just the right time. Another great article from Silva. I just typed up a newsletter about 12 Steps for Self Love and now I find one about Sticking to Your Values - A Guide for Parents. The Silva Method comes out with great info if you want to check them out.

For now, I would like to give my take on Sticking to Your Values. Kids are master manipulators and are always pushing our buttons. My son was just doing that today on the way to school. Good thing I get a break to regroup!

1. Pick your battles. We've all heard this before, for it is true. You have to decide what rules you can relax. I have learned that fighting over a snack is just not worth it. Is is hurting anyone? No. I have become a great negotiator. There are certain things like not answering the door that I will not give in. Could it be harmful? Yes. So as a parent, you need to decide the give and take, but it is important to be flexible with the rules.
2. Be a parent AND a friend. I have to work on this one because I believe we must help guide our kids as parents. When kids come to us with problems, they want to be treated with respect, kindness and love. Even teens want that closeness they had as a kid. I guess this is where the friend part comes in. We treat our friends with respect and give them advice so I guess we should use the same technique with our teens. I guess this isn't so bad since we can say No if something goes against our beliefs.
3. Explain the "why". As said in a previous blog, it is better to explain why we came to our decision rather than saying "Because I said so." This goes back to creating independent thinkers vs blind followers. We should respect our child's viewpoint. This is an area I am working on daily.
4. Evolve..and parent appropriately. I get this. We shouldn't make our teens sit in the time out chair. We should communicate with them in a respectful manner. As our kids grow, we need to adjust our techniques.
5. Manage your expectations. This is a hard one. Parents expect so much from their kids. Sometimes parents should just let the kids be who they are and accept them and their own likes and dislikes. I'm never gonna like anime but I want to understand my daughter so I research and learn about it because she likes it. I still expect her to do well in school and be respectful. We just need to know that our kids have their own interests and we should act like we understand.
6. Communicate! This is a big one. If we punish a child for taking something, we should make sure we tell them upfront that this item isn't for them. Communication is key. It isn't fair to the child if they didn't know because we didn't tell them. That is our problem not theirs.
7. Helping the child to fix problems and find age appropriate solutions. This one can be tough if you have an emotional child. I guess the best thing to do is to help the child calm down, then ask what the problem is and see if there is a simple solution. If not, maybe there is another way to approach the issue. I guess this all goes back to communicating.
8. Lead by example. Kids do mimic us. When we think they aren't listening, they usually are. I know my son pays attention to my speed. He tends to remind me that I'm going more when I should be doing less! I guess that's a good thing.

It all comes down to helping our kids be good people. We want them to have the best life possible. We are here to guide them and to remember we are not dictators. We are nurturers.

I've recently updated my website to be more family friendly. Check it out if you have a minute.

Http://www.kidssouldesire.com

Thanks,

Keri