Independent Thinker

Hello world!!

I'm not sure where to start today. I usually just go with it and write about what I feel. So, today I happened upon an article that really touched me. It goes with my whole idea about letting your child be who they are meant to be.  I never knew there was a term for it. I just thought my kids thought outside the box or were nonconformists.

Well, the phrase is independent thinker. I guess the goal as a parent would be to raise an independent thinking child. I must say my kids definitely dance to their own beat. When they were little, I would say no, don't do that. Now, I'm trying my best to answer the question "why?" with real answers and not just because I said so. Children are sponges and constantly want to learn. When they go to school and question their teachers, they shouldn't have to come home feeling stifled.

Most schools force children into a box. If they step out of that box, they are known as troublemakers or nonconformists. I look at that and say, it is better to think on your own than to be told how to think. My kids have taught me so much. I am still learning and make tons of mistakes, but I am truly trying to do right by them. I take more time to listen. I tell them my concerns and why I think the way I do. If you think about it, all I want for my kids is for them to be happy, be good citizens and live a great life.

We were all put here for a reason and our kids need to find their purpose on their own. Most people force kids to fit in so they are not bullied or excluded. But hey, if you think about it, different is good. You make your own decisions and you don't let others influence you. I believe this all goes back to self love. You must love yourself first before others.

To manifest your dreams, you must be an independent thinker. I know I don't let others influence me. I make my own decisions mainly from the heart. For kids, we need to guide them to make their own decisions. Below are 5 key points parents should look at.

1. "Because I said so" is one of the biggest no nos in independent thinking. Believe me, I have done this a lot. I have learned it is better to explain why. Because I said so is not helping our kids to be independent. It shows them that we think we are king and what we say goes. How would you feel if some other adult said that to you? I know I would say "Oh really??" I am learning to explain things to my kids. If I don't want them to do something, I give them the reasons. It's best to create a dialog.
2. "You need to ....." do this or that. This is a big one and yes I'm guilty. I have noticed a change lately in how I'm wording things. I must be on to something because the article states that we need to reword things to say "I need you to..." I totally understand this. By pushing our needs onto the child, they can't be independent thinkers. By saying "I need you to clean your room." shows them it is our issue. Of course, kids don't care if they can't walk through their room. What's the big deal right? If someone says to an adult, you need to do this. That person would probably say, "Uh, no I don't!" That's how our child thinks too.
3. Explain viewpoints...I must say I'm very good at this one. If someone wants to camp outside a store for 2 days just to get the new iPhone, that is their business. I might think it is crazy, but to each their own. By letting our kids know that maybe our family wouldn't do that, it is just fine for those other people. They aren't hurting anyone.
4. Open communication is key. This is an area I always work on with my kids. I want them to know, they can ask me anything. We discuss everything and it is ok if disagree. We all have our own opinions. As kids grow, they will decide what their belief system will be.
5. Lastly, we must support our different viewpoints. Our children are not our little soldiers. They have their own opinions on how they view things. We should support our children even when they might challenge their teacher or have a different way of looking at something. Believe me, I've had to deal with many teachers who said my kids were troublemakers because they wouldn't do exactly what they said to do. We are here to help our children grow.

I know this was a long blog today but I felt that I needed to get the word out so that our kids don't feel crazy for being different. I know how they feel because I was that child.

For more on this article you can go to How to Raise an Independent Thinking Child.

Also, if you know of any kids who feel different or alone, have them go to my sign up page for free videos that will help them accept themselves for who they are... KidsSoulDesire

Thanks again for stopping by.