Losing Friends...Moving Forward

Hello again!
I happen to start my day reading an amazing article. It's about losing friends. I find the timing of this article funny because I had a dream about a past friend. I think after reading this article, I have figured out this person's reason for being in my life and then exiting.

Have you ever wondered why you are no longer friends with someone? Do you wonder why you lose friends or feel alone? Well, I'm here to tell you that it has to do with Spiritual Awakening. One day you wake and think, "what is the purpose of all of this?" You start questioning things you have learned. You start thinking outside the box. For those still inside the box, they think your crazy and then the next thing you know you are fighting with your friend.

I'm here to tell you that it is okay to cut your friends loose or for them to move on. I have been on my spiritual path and have had to move on from the negativity. My life purpose is to help kids be who they are meant to be so that our world is a better place. I no longer care what others think about that. If they dislike me so be it. Our kids are our future. The kids of today have special gifts that will help our world. We need them to know they are welcome in this world. We need to stop the group thinking.

If a child questions authority in any way, they are treated as an outcast. This is unacceptable. We need to raise more independent thinkers which I discussed in a previous blog. It is time to listen to our hearts and not go with the majority. I stopped watching the news because they want you to think a certain way. How do I know what they are saying is real or true? I don't. All it does is get me upset and put me in a fear based mood. How does that help me live a great life? It doesn't.

Once you realize you no longer care what others think, you are entering your spiritual awakening. You start attracting others who think like you do. Those other people move on. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. This is so true. If someone leaves your life, the lessons have been learned. If you look back, you can see why that person came into your life, when they did, and why they left. If a person is in your life for a lifetime, then you are constantly learning lessons from that person.

We were all put here to learn lessons and to grow. I know I am learning each day and am growing so that I can help kids be themselves without ridicule. My daughter should not have to have apples thrown at her at lunch  just because she doesn't fit what the jocks think is cool. If I could be in that school, I would be telling those boys that different is in and that they are just insecure in their own skin. Our education system needs to change, but that is for another blog.

Well, I hope I gave you something to think about. Review your past relationships and wipe those tears away. Know that you learned something so that you could move forward in your life.

Take care,
Keri

Lighten Up a Little

I must admit that this past week has been a bit nutty. The energy has been making me crazy. It seems to be affecting a lot people. The drivers on the roads seem to not know what they are doing. Of course, this brought on a lot of irritation for me. I just like to get from A to B.

When I was at the store, I started to feel overwhelmed. I decided to go into the bathroom and wash my hands up to my elbows and ask the universe to take away all of the energy. I must say that when I came out of the bathroom I felt tons better.

I'm telling my kids to do this when they are at school or events. If the energy around them gets them all worked up, they should hit the bathroom. Also, I have found that when kids get home from school they should not start on their homework right away. This is the time for a bath or shower to get rid of all that stuff they picked up from school. They should wash their body of the energies. After they are done, they will be able to focus better and they will be refreshed.

I have been using this technique a lot this past week. I have been getting irritated wherever I go. After a nice shower or bath, I feel like me again. Energy is everywhere. The first thing I say to my kids when they start acting spazzy is "Maybe you should take a shower to get that nastiness out of you!"

Many kids can handle the energies but more and more kids are being born very sensitive. So when your teen comes home and starts snapping for no good reason, send them to the bathroom.

Water washes away more than dirt. It cleanses the soul and allows our mind to focus on the moment.  Try it next time you get irritated. Just make sure to ask the universe to take all the energy that isn't yours and to return it to wherever it came from.

I am expecting this week to get better. The sun is out and I plan to spend time outside since nature is also a calming source.

Take care and let me know if this works for you,

Keri

It's Time for Optimism

In this world  there is so much craziness going on, it can be hard to be optimistic. If you know me, I am always looking for the bright side. It is better to look for the good in everything. I truly believe things work out. There is no reason to worry and have doom and gloom thoughts. Being pessimistic only brings you down. So why are people pessimistic? It's probably because they believe if they set their expectations low, when something good happens then they are surprised.

By being pessimistic, you prevent yourself from enjoying things in life. Remember the more negative you are, the more negative things happen. If you have a hard time staying positive, try these steps.

• Stop forcing yourself to be happy. Just go with the flow and have no expectations. You never know who you are going to meet and what opportunities might come up.
• Reinterpret problems. Just because you lost a game or failed a test doesn't make you suck at that sport or subject. Maybe you had a bad day. So look at the other side of things and not make them personal.
• Set small goals. Maybe you could work on one technique that may help you play better or study one subject so that you can do better next time on the test. Don't put the pressure of having to get an A in your mind. Just tell yourself to do your best and that is enough.
• Keep trying and don't give up. Optimists always say, I will try one more time no matter what. If you can set a goal of 3 more tries then you may get it in the first one. 
• See both sides of things. You can see you might be getting a cold. Don't say I'm sick and I feel like crap because you will. Instead acknowledge you have a stuffy nose and say I will be better tomorrow. You can heal your body with positive thoughts. You just have to believe it.
• Make a list of the good things that have happened within the last 6 months. This helps you to be more optimistic about the future.
• Be grateful. Write down 5 things a day in which you are grateful. You could be grateful for walking, for food in your stomach, for shelter, for your sight...for anything. This helps you stay in that positive zone.

If you practice gratitude and looking for the good in things, your mindset will change. I have been teaching my kids to do this. If they start doing this at a young age, then it will be easy for them as adults. There is always something to be grateful for. Be thankful, believe, and you shall receive!

Take care,

Keri

Those Manipulating Kids 😳

Hello my friends!
Happy Friday! So glad we made it through another week.

Got some great info for those parents out there. Seems like articles fall in my lap at just the right time. Another great article from Silva. I just typed up a newsletter about 12 Steps for Self Love and now I find one about Sticking to Your Values - A Guide for Parents. The Silva Method comes out with great info if you want to check them out.

For now, I would like to give my take on Sticking to Your Values. Kids are master manipulators and are always pushing our buttons. My son was just doing that today on the way to school. Good thing I get a break to regroup!

1. Pick your battles. We've all heard this before, for it is true. You have to decide what rules you can relax. I have learned that fighting over a snack is just not worth it. Is is hurting anyone? No. I have become a great negotiator. There are certain things like not answering the door that I will not give in. Could it be harmful? Yes. So as a parent, you need to decide the give and take, but it is important to be flexible with the rules.
2. Be a parent AND a friend. I have to work on this one because I believe we must help guide our kids as parents. When kids come to us with problems, they want to be treated with respect, kindness and love. Even teens want that closeness they had as a kid. I guess this is where the friend part comes in. We treat our friends with respect and give them advice so I guess we should use the same technique with our teens. I guess this isn't so bad since we can say No if something goes against our beliefs.
3. Explain the "why". As said in a previous blog, it is better to explain why we came to our decision rather than saying "Because I said so." This goes back to creating independent thinkers vs blind followers. We should respect our child's viewpoint. This is an area I am working on daily.
4. Evolve..and parent appropriately. I get this. We shouldn't make our teens sit in the time out chair. We should communicate with them in a respectful manner. As our kids grow, we need to adjust our techniques.
5. Manage your expectations. This is a hard one. Parents expect so much from their kids. Sometimes parents should just let the kids be who they are and accept them and their own likes and dislikes. I'm never gonna like anime but I want to understand my daughter so I research and learn about it because she likes it. I still expect her to do well in school and be respectful. We just need to know that our kids have their own interests and we should act like we understand.
6. Communicate! This is a big one. If we punish a child for taking something, we should make sure we tell them upfront that this item isn't for them. Communication is key. It isn't fair to the child if they didn't know because we didn't tell them. That is our problem not theirs.
7. Helping the child to fix problems and find age appropriate solutions. This one can be tough if you have an emotional child. I guess the best thing to do is to help the child calm down, then ask what the problem is and see if there is a simple solution. If not, maybe there is another way to approach the issue. I guess this all goes back to communicating.
8. Lead by example. Kids do mimic us. When we think they aren't listening, they usually are. I know my son pays attention to my speed. He tends to remind me that I'm going more when I should be doing less! I guess that's a good thing.

It all comes down to helping our kids be good people. We want them to have the best life possible. We are here to guide them and to remember we are not dictators. We are nurturers.

I've recently updated my website to be more family friendly. Check it out if you have a minute.

Http://www.kidssouldesire.com

Thanks,

Keri

Why Kids Soul Desire?

We live in a new world. The old ways are no longer working. As you see in the news, there is a lot of war and fighting. We can change this. How you might ask? By starting with our kids.

My goal is to help parents and educators help kids be who they are truly meant to be. As a child, I always felt different and wondered why no one was like me. It's not that I didn't like myself. It's that I knew from a young age that there was more to life. I was always questioning things and getting in trouble. I was determined to be someone who could take care of herself, no matter what was going on around me.

I was miserable in high school. Kids would brag and hang out with the cool kids. I just decided that I would be nice to everyone and just get through school because this wasn't real life.  When I think of today's society, I find that the kids who are bullied or unliked sometimes take inappropriate actions like suicide or harming others. I knew as a kid that that wasn't the right way either. I poured myself into writing. I would write poems or stories to escape my world. Nowadays, kids go to video games, YouTube, and anime. They are never truly alone.

Most kids won't talk about what's going on inside of them. I try my best to engage kids whenever I get a chance because I want them to know that they matter. Kids like I was tend to be withdrawn and don't know where to go. I was one of the few that knew there were bigger and better things out there. High school is just 4 years of a long life.

Once I was able to get away from high school, I went on to college and found a huge new world. I met more people and earned a BS in Electrical Engineering. I have a feeling that I obtained that degree to show the world I can do anything.

I went on to work at Microsoft back in the beginning of its day. At the time, I thought it was no big deal, but hey Microsoft came to be known as a huge and inovative company. Good thing I kept that stock!!

I didn't realize my purpose was to work with kids until I had 4 of them! I then realized I needed a place where kids could come and play and have fun together. I opened Gym 4 Tykes..a fitness, fun and friends place. It was a great 3 years where I could get to know lots of kids. I loved being around these little kids and seeing them grow and learn. I fed off the excitement in their eyes.

I was very sad when I had to close this gym. I will always cherish the memories there. Most of the kids are teenagers now. I have been volunteering and substitute teaching in schools and have seen kids struggle with who they are. I see who they are. I know my purpose is to help these kids be everything they can be in life. I want to help our educators change the way they interact with kids. There needs to be more engagement and thinking outside the box. We need to work together to help these kids love themselves so that they can use their gifts to help others.

This is my message to the world. I am hoping that whoever reads this can help me help those kids!!

It will happen..maybe not today..but it will happen and our world will become a more peace loving world.

Helping one kid at a time....
Keri

Independent Thinker

Hello world!!

I'm not sure where to start today. I usually just go with it and write about what I feel. So, today I happened upon an article that really touched me. It goes with my whole idea about letting your child be who they are meant to be.  I never knew there was a term for it. I just thought my kids thought outside the box or were nonconformists.

Well, the phrase is independent thinker. I guess the goal as a parent would be to raise an independent thinking child. I must say my kids definitely dance to their own beat. When they were little, I would say no, don't do that. Now, I'm trying my best to answer the question "why?" with real answers and not just because I said so. Children are sponges and constantly want to learn. When they go to school and question their teachers, they shouldn't have to come home feeling stifled.

Most schools force children into a box. If they step out of that box, they are known as troublemakers or nonconformists. I look at that and say, it is better to think on your own than to be told how to think. My kids have taught me so much. I am still learning and make tons of mistakes, but I am truly trying to do right by them. I take more time to listen. I tell them my concerns and why I think the way I do. If you think about it, all I want for my kids is for them to be happy, be good citizens and live a great life.

We were all put here for a reason and our kids need to find their purpose on their own. Most people force kids to fit in so they are not bullied or excluded. But hey, if you think about it, different is good. You make your own decisions and you don't let others influence you. I believe this all goes back to self love. You must love yourself first before others.

To manifest your dreams, you must be an independent thinker. I know I don't let others influence me. I make my own decisions mainly from the heart. For kids, we need to guide them to make their own decisions. Below are 5 key points parents should look at.

1. "Because I said so" is one of the biggest no nos in independent thinking. Believe me, I have done this a lot. I have learned it is better to explain why. Because I said so is not helping our kids to be independent. It shows them that we think we are king and what we say goes. How would you feel if some other adult said that to you? I know I would say "Oh really??" I am learning to explain things to my kids. If I don't want them to do something, I give them the reasons. It's best to create a dialog.
2. "You need to ....." do this or that. This is a big one and yes I'm guilty. I have noticed a change lately in how I'm wording things. I must be on to something because the article states that we need to reword things to say "I need you to..." I totally understand this. By pushing our needs onto the child, they can't be independent thinkers. By saying "I need you to clean your room." shows them it is our issue. Of course, kids don't care if they can't walk through their room. What's the big deal right? If someone says to an adult, you need to do this. That person would probably say, "Uh, no I don't!" That's how our child thinks too.
3. Explain viewpoints...I must say I'm very good at this one. If someone wants to camp outside a store for 2 days just to get the new iPhone, that is their business. I might think it is crazy, but to each their own. By letting our kids know that maybe our family wouldn't do that, it is just fine for those other people. They aren't hurting anyone.
4. Open communication is key. This is an area I always work on with my kids. I want them to know, they can ask me anything. We discuss everything and it is ok if disagree. We all have our own opinions. As kids grow, they will decide what their belief system will be.
5. Lastly, we must support our different viewpoints. Our children are not our little soldiers. They have their own opinions on how they view things. We should support our children even when they might challenge their teacher or have a different way of looking at something. Believe me, I've had to deal with many teachers who said my kids were troublemakers because they wouldn't do exactly what they said to do. We are here to help our children grow.

I know this was a long blog today but I felt that I needed to get the word out so that our kids don't feel crazy for being different. I know how they feel because I was that child.

For more on this article you can go to How to Raise an Independent Thinking Child.

Also, if you know of any kids who feel different or alone, have them go to my sign up page for free videos that will help them accept themselves for who they are... KidsSoulDesire

Thanks again for stopping by.