Happy Parents = Happy Kids

Happy December!!

I was just reading an article about how to have a long lasting relationship. I figured that I would write my own take on this subject since I have been married for over 20 years. In today's world there are so many broken relationships. I must say my determination began as a child. I watched my own parents grow apart and move on separately. This can be so hard on kids. I'm one of the lucky ones where my parents put us kids first. There are so many people who don't see what their actions do to the kids whether they are married or not. Complaining about the other parent to the child is a big no no. It's not their issue to deal with. They just need to know that they are loved.

My advice first is to start as a child. Children should know that dating is a big deal. There is no real reason to have a boyfriend or girlfriend before you are 16. I see no reason in this. The entire purpose of dating is to find that special someone and hopefully spend the rest of your life with that person. Hanging out or spending time with someone is the key to a long term relationship. You must be friends first. All relationships must have friendship to last for many years. That is why I believe the mindset needs to change for our kids to have healthy relationships. Lust only lasts a short time.

So instead of writing tons of paragraphs on this topic, I will list out the most important things that I believe help create a long loving and lasting relationship.

1. Love yourself first!! You must be willing to accept yourself for who you are before someone else will. You cannot find love on the outside. This is why people go from person to person.
2. Be friends first. You must be friends who are willing to hang out and chat about anything because when it comes time for you to deal with serious issues, you need to be able to go to this person about anything.
3. Communication!! Most relationships fall apart because one person may think the other person can read his or her mind. You must discuss things. I won't be the one to tell you how because each person and relationship is different.
4. Spend time together WITHOUT the kids. This is so important. Most people don't realize how important this is. Yes, it is wonderful spending time with your kids as a family;however, kids grow up and move away. This other person and yourself will be the only ones there. You need to stay connected to keep a long lasting relationship going.
5. Continue to grow individually. We are all here on earth to learn and grow. We tend to get wrapped up in the day to day tasks. Continue to learn new things or take new classes. Do things that make your heart happy.
6. Believe in one another. You must be the cheerleader for each other. You should encourage each other to go after your dreams. Anything is possible in this world. Keep the faith that things always work out because they do.
7. Be committed. You must be committed to each other and be willing to work things out. There will be times when one person is giving 20% and the other one 80%. It will continuously flip flop. Be willing to pick the other one up when necessary.
8. Be positive. The law of attraction truly works. If you can find the positive when things look like crap, things will turn around. If you continuously fight about money, then you will continuously get more bills. If you believe the bills will get paid, they always do.
9. See things from the other's viewpoint (be open minded). We all have ideas and opinions. You must be willing to understand the other person's viewpoint because you will not always agree on everything. It is ok to disagree. That is how we learn from one another.
10. Be open to new experiences. As we all change, so do our likes and dislikes. Be willing to compromise and try new things even if you may not like it. This is another way to grow.

I could go on and on about what I believe is successful in a long loving relationship but it is for us all to find out. We must be willing to love and learn and grow! Why else would God put us here with one  another. Think about it. Why are we here and what would complete our life? It is up to each of us to determine what our heart needs. I happen to love my life and my family and I plan to spend many more years learning, growing and sharing my knowledge with the world. I want our kids to be successful in whatever they do in life. It all begins with your family and how you can help them be the best person they can be!

Enjoy the day!!

Keri